Frustrations all around… ready for the new healthy eating part of my new year other than can’t food shop until Saturday along with my partner with these changes haven’t read the paperwork yet.. sigh..
Oh well.. off to the races… so far a protein shake that still has 23 carbs … the power and milk combo… sigh.. at least I still have 22 carbs in cycle one (breakfast/snack).. however it’s 1113am so the morning cycle is almost over..
After food shopping on Saturday I will be able to be on a schedule a little better… here’s hoping that this change works.. 🙂 Here’s to a better me!!
Happy New Year…ball has dropped…
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Every year it’s a goal of mine to “lose weight”… I do fairly well in the first three months of the year then the next three months I start to slack off to the point that by the end of the year I am right back to where I was the previous year if not heavier…. it’s a battle and one that I apparently have been losing since 2002 and forward. Not saying that weight hasn’t always been a fight for me but it wasn’t until 2002 that I truly started to lose the war on my weight fight.. I am not going to sugar coat it no more.. I am “fat”.. not thick, not PHAT… just plain and simply “fat” … it’s not to be mean nor harm any other female out there but it’s my truth… it stares me in the face every morning when I’m getting ready for work…. and there is so much more to this “war” pertaining to my weight.
I am a mom to a young daughter and I don’t want my daughter to have my unhealthy eating habits nor my unhealthy body image. I want to raise her to enjoy food but in moderation along with not viewing her weight as a means to beauty.. because women can be beautiful no matter the size as long as they are healthy… so my new journey against my “food addiction” will have to be walked lightly because I don’t want my daughter to view weight in the negative or to see me starving myself or weighting myself obsessively. I want to live to see my daughter grow up and do all the wonderful things in her life– first love, prom, first date, wedding day, grandchildren etc.. no life isn’t promised for tomorrow, even if I do “win” a battle or two pertaining to my weight but it’s not going to be because of weight that I am going to miss a moment of my daughter’s life… weight at some point is something that I can control…
Lastly, due to health issues that are now piling up as quickly as the pounds have been over the years–such as high triglycerides, blood pressure increasing…along with being insulin resistant which is a precursor to type 2 diabetes among various other issues such as joint pain etc.. It’s time to harness in my addiction for food… I need to be a better example for myself, my spouse and especially my daughter…
This is going to be a hard journey for me… one that isn’t going to be easy because a person needs to eat to provide fuel to their body… it feels like it would be so much easier to be addicted to something else that a person could abstain from… food addiction is just not that easy– I have to re-teach myself healthy eating habits because I am a big emotion eater, I love comfort foods especially ones with lots of carbs &/or sugar and I have good memories of family time around the kitchen table eating… by no means is my addiction the result of anyone else’s fault but my own… I take full responsibility for the person I see in the mirror..
Well this is where I will be posting my struggles, challenges and triumphs…. at some point I hope to start running/walking in marathons once I have more energy etc.. so far my first steps on this journey– this blog, January Menu for dinners is almost complete along with purchased a small journal to jot down daily food intakes (which I hope to type here once a week along with favorite low carb, low fat and low salt recipes)…also met a nutritionist and will re-meet with him in a month and 10 days after 01/01/14…. hoping that I can correct my errors and reign in my addiction so that I may LIVE again.. this isn’t a matter of win or lose.. it’s a matter that I have to win because my life and those around me depend on me winning.. so here goes..
Working on 2014s budget along with preparing things for a few other goals/projects for 2014… lots of reflecting on the good that happened in 2013…wanting to build upon a lot of it but at the same time reflecting on the not so good of 2013..learning the lessons and hoping not to do them again…life is ever changing and evolving..
“There’s chocolate in there”
Said by a 2.5 year old who has just started to potty train and took their first #2 on the potty.. LOL